📰 MerKaGuinea™ Pressroom

Editorial Opinion

💸🔥 A Billion Lies and a Borrowed Future: Clowns, Credits & Corruption in High Places™

An Afro-global editorial by the MerKaGuinea™ Pressroom Team

Once upon a scandal…

There lived a government so expert in managing public funds that it managed to spend it all. Yes, every coin, cent and scrap of dignity was declared missing in action — and instead of a funeral, they threw a party.

One year later?

Voilà. €1 billion appears. No public record, no international donor, no press conference with serious faces and charts. Just a magical announcement. Like the Tooth Fairy, if she dropped off billions instead of coins — and instead of children, it was corrupt men who smiled in their sleep.

But here's the twist: the money’s not for now.

No, no. It's scheduled for 2027. Coincidentally, that's also the year of the next presidential elections. And if you believe that’s a coincidence, then you probably believe unicorns handle the Ministry of Finance.

🎪 "Game of Loans: Season of Delusion"

The logic goes like this:

1. Say you're broke.

2. Blame the IMF, COVID, Russia, God, ghosts — whoever.

3. Cut salaries, blame the opposition, increase taxes.

4. Wait one year.

5. Announce a "miraculous line of credit" with no bank, no terms, and no receipt.

6. Schedule the miracle to align with election year.

7. Smile.

The press claps, the elite eats, and the people — well, they go back to work, walk on broken roads, and whisper, “Dios nos ve.”

But we see too.

And we’re not in the mood to laugh anymore. Unless, of course, we’re writing the jokes.

🧙🏾 Of Wizards and Wallets

This economic sorcery isn't even well done. At least in Harry Potter, there’s a wand and some Latin. Here we just get spreadsheets with invisible ink.

No international financial institution confirmed this loan.
No official creditor country stood up.
No accountability.
No shame.

And yet, national TV ran it like gospel. The kind where Jesus wears Gucci and flies business class.

🏦 What Billion-Euro Projects?

The announcement says the billion euros will fund:

• Digital infrastructure (a.k.a. WhatsApp bundles for bureaucrats)

• Industrial zones (a.k.a. buildings with no tenants and infinite ribbon-cuttings)

• Education (a.k.a. workshops for ministers to learn new ways to say “we are working on it”)

• Healthcare (a.k.a. air conditioners for the ministry, not the hospitals)

Meanwhile, a hospital in the province still uses beds that Moses left behind.

But hey — there's a logo, a hashtag, and maybe even a commemorative song coming soon!

🕵🏿 If a Loan Falls in the Forest…

If no international body recognizes it…

If no donor owns it…

If no citizen understands it…

Is it really a loan, or is it propaganda with esteroids?

MerKaGuinea™ is not just here to sell spices and AfroLux mugs. We’re here to defend African dignity. That means telling jokes with a machete edge.

Because laughing at corruption doesn’t mean accepting it. It means exposing it so loud that even the shameless start to sweat.

🧯 Who’s Burning?

They say “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

But in this case, the fire is the public rage, and the smoke is what the government hopes will blind the population until after the ballots are counted.

It’s strategic gaslighting — with imported matches and taxpayer-funded gasoline.

🎤 Mic Drop for the People

So here’s a shout-out to:

• Every young entrepreneur denied a loan because there’s “no budget”

• Every mother forced to choose between medicine and food

• Every teacher unpaid for months while government delegations eat in Dubai

• Every African who’s been insulted by the lie that this is “development”

We see you.
We believe you.
And we are not buying what the clowns are selling.

🧱 Build with Truth or Burn in Shame

At MerKaGuinea™, we believe in building real futures. That means calling out the nonsense when billion-euro illusions are being sold like palm oil at the market — just shinier.

So the next time they announce a phantom fortune, ask for:

• A PDF

• A signature

• A name

• And a real plan

Not a slogan.

📢 Final Word: "No More Circo"

Africa is not a stage for political clowns.

Our future is not a script for their propaganda machine.

And our silence is not consent.

Let them know that even the best-dressed lies will fall naked in front of the truth. And this time, the truth speaks fluent satire.

MerKaGuinea™
Trade with Integrity. Speak with Fire.